Mother

She used to say I was her special project, and the love she gave me made me feel special and secure, even though she has left this world I still feel she is with me.
My mother’s name is Nafeesa Akbar Khan and I will never forget the day she left the world on 18th May 2008, it was devastating for me as we were very close. Every mother loves their child, but the love my mother gave me was inexplicable. She used to wait until I got home so she could eat with me. She use to press my legs when I came home and if I told her it was my duty to press her instead of her pressing me, she use to say let me do this, it makes me feel good. My siblings often said that in our mother’s eyes “Junaid bhai came first and then us”.
When I first got married I told my wife that my only request was that if she didn’t mind that I ate dinner with my mother, as she still loves to sit with me and feed me even though I was a grown man. I told her that I could have married anyone, but my mother chose her to be my life partner and therefore she should allow me this request. My wife agreed to this.

“Every mother loves their child, but the love my mother gave me was inexplicable”

I don’t ever remember disobeying my mother, we had a special bond. When she died I had already left music and was on the path of dawah. I was in Toronto giving a lecture, when I was told that my mother had died just before Fajr prayers. It took me a year to recover and it was then that I realised the wisdom of Muslims burying their dead and visiting their graves as it helps the healing process. I visit her grave often and feel a sense of peace to be near her. I can never forget her face brightening up every time I went to see her and saying “kya haal heh ummah” and she would smile and hug me. Even when I was a grown- up she would make me sit on her lap like I use to when I was small and I would worry in case I hurt her with my weight, but she would continue to hold me saying I was part of her being.

Sister

My sister is called Muniza Javed Khan she is a wonderful person and sister. She is one of the most intelligent woman I know and we are very close. We were three brothers and one sister, so she grew up like a tom boy as we included her in all our games; she played cricket and other sports with us. She was always a daddy’s girl and very close to my father.

I remember when I was at university studying engineering she helped me to pass my advanced mathematics course. She is highly intelligent upright honest and has wonderful children whom she has brought up admirably. She is a renowned scholar now and we are all still very close and I am very proud of her.

Wife

My wife Ayesha is a great life partner; she holds the fort while I am away from the home. She takes care of the house and has raised the children well. She also takes great care of my dad who lives with us. She took great care of my mother especially near the end when my mother was quite ill. I always say to her I am sure Allah has forgiven her sins because of the way she looked after my mother. After my mother’s death I though the extended family would fall apart, but it didn’t happen like that as my wife made sure that everyone continued to meet and stay attached to each other, she is also very close with my sister, they both are friends. Our house is the focal point for all family gatherings. She has stood by me through life’s up and downs and is the best life partner I could have wished for. Even though I travel a lot when I am home I make sure I spend quality time with the family.

Daughter

Photos: Mobin Ansari

Daughters are always precious to their fathers and my daughter is one of my weak points. I remember one day one of my friends had tears in his eyes because his daughter was getting married. I asked him why he was crying, and he said something I will never forget, he said wait till Zahra grows up then you will know why I have tears in my eyes. Today Zahra is 17 years old and grown up into an intelligent lady, like her aunty. She also has inherited my mother’s good looks and personality. I have told her that when she becomes 18 she has a right to mother her old dad. I often laugh because I am sure the first thing she may end up doing when she is 18 is to curtail my activities, especially travelling.

“I have told her that when she becomes 18 she has a right to mother her old dad”

In recent decades, Muslim marriage practices in the West have evolved and changed considerably, especially when it comes to arranged marriage. Today, most second- and third-generation British Muslims, particularly women, pursue higher education, resulting in increased independence of thought and action. The days are long gone when matchmakers and gossipy aunts were adamant that a Muslim man should wed a less educated women, yet recent research has shown that many educated British Muslim women are experiencing difficulties in attracting suitable partners.
Although the end goal for marriage has remained the same—everyone wants to be happy and experience a loving, caring relationship—the order of events has shifted a bit. Whereas previous generations expected love to come after a successful arranged marriage, today’s women are seeking to fall in love before they marry or at the very least meet their prospective partner beforehand. Today’s relationships establish a connection, then get into the important life details—how much does he earn? Does he want to live with his parents or in his own place? How many children does he want?
One example of how modern women often approach marriage today can be found in Massoma, a professional lawyer and a practicing Muslim in her mid-30s. She’s been searching for a marriage partner since her early 20s and has rejected many suitors who were educated and held professional jobs. Many of them she refused after meeting them in a halal environment or after a few meetings, all because she didn’t feel that she connected with them. This elusive connection, which her friends interpreted as “butterflies in her stomach,” has not yet happened, and so Massoma is still searching.
Today, most women of all backgrounds want not only a marriage partner, but also someone who is a friend and companion. Many Muslim women have a difficult task achieving this—many do not want a groom from their parents’ country but rather desire a partner who has been brought up in the West and is therefore culturally compatible.
But it’s not just living in the West that has liberated these women and led them to demand equal partnership in marriage versus the traditional male-dominant relationship. Most of them also are well versed in the quran and hadith and can point out many examples of how the Prophet (s) not only carried out his duties outside the home but also helped his wives with household chores and was always supportive and fair.
As the task to find a suitable life partner becomes more of a struggle, matrimonial websites have blossomed and are particularly popular with younger men and women. Although these sites have brought about some successful unions, there also have been reported complaints about disastrous or awkward encounters.
With all the struggles, there are also many success stories which give a hope to those who seek a potential partner.
Saverah Women Team meets some young married women in U.K. and explores how they met their partners.

Whereas previous generations expected love to come after a successful arranged marriage, today’s women are seeking to fall in love before they marry or at the very least meet their prospective partner beforehand.

Saima Bhatt, married to Nadeem Khan

“My first marriage was to a distant relative back home who had been introduced to me by my parents. It started as a happy marriage and he was kind and considerate, but it later emerged that he had been having an affair. This devastated me, and I decided to end my 15-year-old marriage. I left my job and started a new career and kept myself socially active. While I was in the process of piecing my life together, I went on a charity trek in Scotland, and I met Nadeem, who also had been recently divorced. We got on really well, became good friends, and then Nadeem popped the question. I was so happy to have found someone I had a lot in common with. Now we are happily married and have a son.”
Come out of your comfort
zone & keep socially active
 

Saleha Imam, married to Imran Shareef

“I met Imran at university, where I got to know him a bit more as a friend. Even though I liked him, I never thought I would end up marrying him. They do say that destiny plays a part, and in our case it did. We ended up working in the same place, and it was at work where we resumed our friendship and I realised I had feelings for him. I approached him with a marriage proposal. Imran was always the shy type, and it took him some time to decide. We are happily married now, and have three kids.”

Sometimes you may have
zone & to take the first step

 

Farina Sardar, married to Kareem Altaf

“After university, my parents put on the pressure to get married. It was at my new job where I met Kareem—he was in another department. He would make excuses to come to my department so he could see me, and soon we became friends. However, he had already made it clear he was looking to marry. He proposed to me, and I told him I had to first consult my parents. Today, we are happily married and still working in the same company.”

Workplace – keep your
doors opened.
 

Ayesha Dani, married to Kamran Ahmed

“After a first marriage that didn’t go well, I was left as a single woman with a 1-year-old daughter. I went back to live with my parents and moved on bringing up my daughter. It was through my family that I met Kamran. He was from Pakistan and we instantly liked each other. Our families were very happy, and encouraged us to get married. Kamran moved to the U.K., and we got married in a small ceremony surrounded by our family and friends. We are happily married and have a son who is greatly loved, especially by his older sister.”

Parents & family friends can
introduce potential partners.
 

Layla Hassan, married to Hayder Ali

“I saw him at college when I was 17 years old. I liked him, so I asked my friend to find out more about him, but he was not responsive and was rather shy, although he liked to act tough. Soon he left to move to another college, and I thought I would never meet him again. When I was in my last year at university, I was having a religious discussion on Facebook with some friends, and I started chatting to Hayder, not knowing he was the same boy I met a few years ago. When he posted his picture, I suddenly realised who he was. We eventually became friends, as he was very knowledgeable about Islam and I was always asking questions. He told me he was interested in getting married and didn’t believe in having girlfriends. We met each other’s parents and then got married in a small family ceremony. We are both very happy and plan to have many kids.”

Social media (using it in a
right and safe way)

 

“I met Imran at university, where I got to know him a bit more as a friend. Even though I liked him, I never thought I would end up marrying him.”

Saira Hakim, married to Kahn Bahadur

“At the age of 20 my father had introduced me to a man he found in a marriage advert. Initially I had no interest in this proposal as I had feelings for my classmate, but had no courage to face my parent’s anger. In a few days, my marriage was arranged, and I was forced to marry the man he had chosen.
Initially I was not happy in the marriage as I did find it difficult to accept my husband and vice versa. However, as time passed I grew to love him and my husband showed the same warmth. Hearts changed and things got better. It is said Allah works in mysterious ways, which is true, because today I have a blissful life, a doting husband and lovely kids. We have a successful business, and get to travel frequently.”
Have trust in the higher
authority and give people a chance.

 

Life is a precious gift all humans have been granted, which is why it’s vital to invest in your health and well-being. If staying trim isn’t enough of a motivation, maybe your faith will be: Islam focuses on looking after not only your spiritual and emotional health, but your physical health, as well. Our bodies are a divine gift, a blessing that came to us with working organs, limbs, and a heart. This is why it’s our duty to ensure that our bodies are not neglected or abused by ill maintenance or weak and lazy habits.
The Quran includes passages on the importance of healthy habits. For example, there are hadiths that tell how the Prophet Muhammad (s) valued being physically fit and following a healthy diet. Hazrat Ibn Umar (ra) narrated that the Prophet (s) said to “teach your children swimming, archery and horse riding.”
And Islam overall is a physically and mentally spiritual practice—your brain can only be fully engaged and focused on faith if it’s healthy and not bogged down with physical ailments. You need strength to perform things like salat or Hajj, one of the most demanding and fruitful experiences in any Muslim person’s life.
Below, Nazia Khatun of Fitness Reborn reveals five benefits of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and how it relates to Islam.

Disease Prevention & Appetite Control

More than one million people die each year from coronary heart diseases, which are largely caused by poor diets and excessive eating. The Prophet (s) disliked gluttony, and described the proper amounts to eat in order to stay healthy:
“No man fills a vessel worse than his stomach. A few morsels are enough for the son of Adam (human being) to keep his back upright. But if he must eat more, then he should fill one-third of his stomach with food, one-third with drink, and leave one-third empty for the air (easy breathing).”
Finding this balance in your diet is essential for efficiently running bodies, and a light, healthy diet also helps us control our thoughts and emotions. Here’s yet another quote from Ibrahim ibn Adham (ra):
“Anyone who controls his stomach is in control of his deen, and anyone who controls his hunger is in control of good behaviour. Disobedience toward Allah is nearest to a person who is satiated with a full stomach, and furthest away from a person who is hungry.”

Food Equals Energy

In the Prophet’s (s) era, food was chosen carefully, and homemade foods made with love and affection were considered the purest. Unfortunately, modern society has brought with it the proliferation of fast food chains. Food that is made in haste and filled with chemicals slows the body down, leading to a lack of focus. To stay physically and mentally sharp so you can perform your daily duties as a Muslim, follow a diet centered on homemade, nutritious food.

A Restorative Sleep

A healthy diet and daily exercise not only help boost energy levels, but they also can help improve the quality of your sleep. Sleep is an essential part of taking good care of your body—it allows you to recover and mend. And when you’re well-rested and mentally strong, you can give your focus purely to Allah when praying.

A Solution for Depression

Besides helping you stay trim, exercise also can reduce depression, and some studies have shown it can be as effective as medication. Exercise also helps improve memory and other cognitive functions, and is thought to protect the brain against dementia. One Harvard University researcher called exercise the “Miracle-Gro for the brain.”

A Well-Lived Life

Whatever it is you love in life, whether it be your kids, travel, sports, or fashion, everything is more enjoyable when you’re feeling healthy and fit. Our creator wants us to be happy and live a fruitful life, so make sure you maintain healthy diet and exercise habits to be able to enjoy every moment. SW

Nazia Khatun,
www.fitnessrebornuk.com

Where would you like to be living your life? In the past? In the present? Or in the future?
Most would say they want to live in the present. But bad habits and thought patterns can keep you from achieving this.
Below, find insight and tips to cultivate a mindful attitude and start living in the here and now.

Past Memories

We carry with us memories of the past, and it is natural to revisit them. Your past plays an essential role in who you are today, but if you focus too much energy on it, you stop yourself from moving forward. Sometimes we fall into the habit of replaying our past hurts or best days gone by in an endless loop. When you do this, you end up missing out on the life you are living right now. The past is just that: past. You can visit there once in a while, but don’t make it your permanent address.

The Only Thing That Exists is the Present

In this present moment and with every second that passes, you are creating your future. Your future is not just tomorrow or five years from now, but five minutes or five hours from now. Your future is today! You create it, moment by moment, day by day. Actively invest your time in creating your future, not worrying about how it will unfold.
When you wake up each morning, you make a choice about how you are going to approach your day. To understand the future you are creating, start paying attention to the very first thought you wake up with. Do you wake up dreading work? Do you first notice that you’re still tired? Is a long to-do list the first thing that pops in your mind? Or are you grateful for waking up each day, with positive anticipation of the hours ahead? Whether positive or negative, conscious or unconscious, you choose the feelings that set the tone for each day that lies ahead and for each moment you live.

Each day, you are given a fresh, blank page to fill. Choose your words wisely, and fill it with a tale that is positive, happy and fulfilling.

You’re in the Driver Seat

As you interact with people around you, you create your present moment. When you smile, you bring peace and joy. When you look at your family with warmth and care, you create a wonderful present. You create the experience of your life’s journey with every thought, feeling and action. The story that you are telling yourself and the thoughts that dominate your mind become the script of the movie that is your life. You and only you are in complete control of the story that is running through your mind right now.

Write a New Story

Mahatma Gandhi said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” What if the dirty feet are yours? Have you ever taken the time to consider what the plot or moral of your current life story is? Are you playing the leading role, or a supporting character? Is your story of winning, coming out on top, standing tall? Is it one of adventure, rising from life’s challenges, overcoming fears, making friends, and creating a new and wonderful life? Whatever your current storyline may be, the pen is in your hand.
Each day, you are given a fresh, blank page to fill. Choose your words wisely, and fill it with a tale that is positive, happy and fulfilling. If this solution sounds too simple, think of our thoughts as a snowball. When you replay a negative memory from your past or consider the negative outcome of an upcoming life event, your mind will begin to wander and the worst case scenario will unreel in your mind. You might even begin to feel the physical signs of this negativity—increased blood pressure and heart rate, headaches, stress, and tension.
But good thoughts can snowball, too, quickly bringing joy, happiness, light and control to your life. If you are ready to begin living your life in the present moment, start by choosing positive thoughts and chasing negative thoughts out of your mind. It will take time for healthier habits to become second nature, but the positive effects will take hold immediately. SW

Wajeeha Amin is a psychotherapeutic counsellor and Relationship Coach. www.wajeehaamin.co.uk 

Tips for Being Mindful

Small actions add up, and it’s no different when you’re trying to cultivate mindfulness to live in the present. Here are some small things you can do throughout your day to keep your head in the present moment.

• Breathe – Take a quick break at work or while you’re going through your day and focus on breathing for a few minutes. Notice how the air flows in and out of your body, how your belly rises and falls.
• Eat Slow – Next time you eat, slow things down and take time to notice how your food looks, tastes, smells and feels.
• Practice – Being mindful when doing a routine task, such as dishes. How do all your senses register the task? Notice how the hot water feels on your hands, the smell of the soap, the feel of the washcloth rubbing against each dish.
• Focus on one thing – Try to spend the day focusing on one thing at a time and not letting the constant distractions of the digital age derail you. For example, if you’re writing a memo at work, don’t stop every few minutes to check email. Work slowly and deliberately.
• Walk – Take a walk. Leave your phone or on silent in your bag, and notice your surroundings.

Have a positive mindset.

If you want to achieve a task, you need to first believe that you can do it. Many struggle with thinking that they can’t achieve a goal or task whilst managing life’s myriad responsibilities.
There are many budding entrepreneurs who want to start a business but who are too scared to commit or take risks because they fear failure. Never let fear get the better of you or hinder your progress. Take a step back and reflect on your skills, think positively, and envision the outcome if you were to complete the task or take that step in achieving your goals. Next, imagine yourself at the place of achievement. This technique may help change your mindset from negative into positive.

Time management.

Some of the most successful women have mastered excellent time management skills. Utilising your time and avoiding procrastination is key in achieving any task. From a simple thing such as cooking the family dinner to getting work or studying done, each task can successfully be completed with effective time management. This is one of the secrets to achieving your goals.

Wake up early.

We all like our sleep, but waking up early can have a profound benefit when it comes to getting more done during the day. The Prophet (s) said: “O Allah, bless my nation in their early mornings” (i.e., what they do early in the morning) [Ibn Majah]. There are many blessings you can achieve and you can perform well in all aspects of life if you wake up early for Fajr and utilise some of your time afterward to get tasks done.

Nobody in this life achieves any form of success without effort and hard work.
It is important to be consistent in doing small daily actions that will culminate in reaching your goal.

Schedule your day around Salah.

Many of us fail to realise that true success lies with pleasing Allah. This is why it’s important to ensure that Salah is your top priority. You can schedule your day around Salah and aim to get more done, as well as earn blessings from Allah. Al-Aswad bin Yazid narrated: “I asked Aisha (ra) ‘What did the Prophet (s) do at home?’ She said ‘He used to work for his family, and when he heard the adhan (call for the prayer), he would go out.” [Bukhari]
Disciplining yourself to perform salah strengthens your ability to live a life that can benefit you for the ultimate destination of the hereafter.

Be consistent and work hard.

Nobody in this life achieves any form of success without effort and hard work. It is important to be consistent in doing small daily actions that will culminate in reaching your goal. For example, if you want to lose weight, you may want to do a 20-minute daily walk for 30 days. At the end of the month, you may find you’ve reached your desired weight. Small, consistent steps are key in achieving, but it is essential to be consistent.
Working hard is also important, and it puts barakah in your life, because you have learned to achieve something. Whether you are investing your time in studying for an exam, making time to prepare for an interview, or even learning how to create a new dish, it will take effort. The more effort you put into something, the more likely you will get better results and a real sense of achievement.

Make dua.

Never underestimate the power of dua—it truly has the ability to change your fate. Relying on Allah and trusting him is a testament to your faith. This does not mean you don’t need to put in effort to achieve, but it does mean that you accept Allah as sustenance. Whatever a person is destined to achieve or obtain in this life, already is written for us in our fate (Qadr), so we should actively make dua to Allah to give us the best of this world and the hereafter. The best times to make dua to ask for success in this world and the next is in the last portion of the night, often known as Qiyam ul layl. You also can supplicate after your daily Salah or keep a fast with the intention of earning blessings for a special need or desire. SW

Tasmin Nazeer is an award-winning freelance journalist and writer who has written for a variety of publications. For more information, visit www.tasnimnazeer.com or follow her on Twitter @tasnimnazeer1.

Beauty regime for face

I always cleanse and moisturise my face, mainly using cold water. To exfoliate I use oats and olive oil to make a good scrub that exfoliates the skin.

Sometimes I use almond oil to moisturize my face and hands. Almond oil also helps nail growth.

I always use an eye cream to keep the eye area moisturised, as this is vital to avoid fine lines in the future.

Healthy Hair

I often put on a hair mask made of avocado mashed plus olive oil and a little honey, it keeps my hair strong and supple. If you want your hair to grow the best remedy is to mix almond oil, ground mustard powder and egg yolk and honey. Mustard powder is tingly and makes blood flow to the scalp promoting growth.

Also after washing I often use Kerastase Elixir oil which keeps my hair frizz free and soft.

Fitness

It is important to eat healthily and exercise. In the gym I just focus on running and do some squats. However, I like Vikram yoga (hot yoga); it’s great for your hair, skin, flexibility, internal and external strength.

Fashion and styling tips

Wear what you feel comfortable in. Take into account your basic body shape and skin colour when it comes to clothes. As Coco Chanel once said: “Fashion comes and goes but style is eternal”. Have your personal style and then adapt it to current fashion trends but always stay true to yourself.

Saverah Women Magazine celebrates the world of fashion and beauty while providing a platform to highlight the achievements of Muslim in UK and accros the global. The magazine aims to be the voice of women who strive to be what they want to be, achieving their dreams however small or big and promote their work and achievements.

Saverah Women will be a prominent platform for the new wave of international creative designers to display their designs and abilities; It will also feature female entrepreneurship, news and views on health and beauty products, including tips on how to stay fit and active as well as stories to inspire and empower women.

In short Saverah Women is the new lifestyle magazine celebrating and sharing the spirit and achievements of Muslim Women across the globe.

Away from the glamour world of show biz, today he is an international globe trotter whose mission is to give ‘Dawah’ and invite people to Islam. His fan base has grown worldwide and he has been continually included in the list of 500 most influential Muslims in the world, which to some extent is important as it means when ‘Junaid speaks people listen’.

What does Junaid Jamshed think of women may be difficult to fathom, however we can understand the man better if we look closely at his attitude to the 4 women who are not only constant in his life but also close to his heart.

Daughter

Daughters are always precious to their fathers and my daughter is one of my weak points. I remember one day one of my friends had tears in his eyes because his daughter was getting married. I asked him why he was crying, and he said something I will never forget, he said wait till Zahra grows up then you will know why I have tears in my eyes. Today Zahra is 17 years old and grown up into an intelligent lady, like her aunty. She also has inherited my mother’s good looks and personality. I have told her that when she becomes 18 she has a right to mother her old dad. I often laugh because I am sure the first thing she may end up doing when she is 18 is to curtail my activities, especially travelling.

Get a copy of Saverah Women for the complete interview. Buy Print addition here